It's 10:30 a.m. on a Sunday, the last day of Pride Month. Pastor Wes Bixby is standing in front of an altar draped with gay and trans pride flags. His long white frock is decorated with a rainbow stole.
"God's amazing and abundant grace be with each and every one of you this morning and welcome to worship."
Nearby, a pride flag candle flickers in front of a large, leather-bound copy of the Bible.
"Today, the Pride candle is lit, but let's remember that this marks the Stonewall Riots which began on June 28, 1969 and continued through July 3, and recognition that the flowers today both were given in loving memory of Natalie, but also Pauline’s Uncle Sheldon, who was a frequent victim of anti-gay violence. And so we do hold that in our prayers today.”
Many of the congregations members are wearing name badges with rainbow pins and their pronouns.
What it means to be an LGBTQ+ affirming church
The First Congregational United Church of Christ in Sarasota is open to anyone who wants to join, and more than 100 people are in attendance today while others watch online. A significant portion of the congregation is older than 55, and many of them belong to the LGBTQ plus community.
"I have been looking for a church all my life. I'm 80 years old, and it took me to 79 to find this place,” said Joan Faucher. She and her wife Valerie are members of the church's adult LGBTQ+ social group.
COLLAGE— the Coalition of Laity for Lesbian and Gay Equality — meets twice a month on Zoom and monthly for a luncheon. They also do outreach at local events like Sarasota's annual "Silver Pride," which celebrates queer seniors.
Scott Nutter and his partner of nearly 60 years, Chuck, helped make COLLAGE a reality in 2001 as part of the church’s decision to become a member of the “Open and Affirming Coalition,” which certifies local churches and other ministries of the United Church of Christ after adoption of an ONA covenant welcoming all persons into Christian community. An explicit welcome to LGBTQ+ persons is required.
"It was a great feeling. To know that the movement that we were starting was a movement that was so overdue, so needed, and so wanted,” Nutter said.
More than 1,800 churches and other ministries in the United Church of Christ are a part of the coalition to not only welcome lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer members, but to also support their relationships, advocate for their basic rights, and include them in all sacraments and rites, including baptism, confirmation, communion, and marriage.
With tears in his eyes, Nutter talks about Chuck, who passed away last year.
"We had a great life ... God bestowed many blessings upon me. One right after another. And he still is. He still is. And I just say I thank God for making me a tool in his hands. And I want to be a tool in his hands right up until the day I leave this earth because we've been partners. We've been partners. God, Chuck and I."
Acceptance at church impacts mental health
Research has shown that about 59% of LGBTQ+ people say they are religiously affiliated, and 48% of them identify as Christian.
Yet many churches have historically condemned LGBTQ+ relationships and gender identities.
"We can't fully be ourselves. We can't fully be all that God wants us to be if we have to hide a piece of ourselves, and that was kind of tearing me apart.” Liz Alexander, church member and retired Presbyterian pastorLiz Alexander, church member and retired Presbyterian pastor
A paper published last year in the Journal of Psychology and Theology reports that churches play a role in the well-being of LGBTQ+ people, regardless of whether these churches intend to do so.
“For them to feel like they belong in churches and experience positive psychological consequences, they must believe that the church cares about their welfare and loves them. In the United States, it is difficult for LGBTQ+ Christians to find a church home, since the majority of churches in the United States are non-affirming or do not welcome LGBTQ+ people into all aspects of congregational life or all sacraments (e.g., marriage, leadership, communion),” writes the paper’s authors.
The researchers further assert that non-affirming theology contributes to lower self-esteem, higher psychological distress, and increased health risk behaviors, such as excessive drinking, in LGBTQ+ youth that can last a lifetime.
"We can't fully be ourselves. We can't fully be all that God wants us to be if we have to hide a piece of ourselves, and that was kind of tearing me apart,” said church member and retired Presbyterian pastor Liz Alexander, who has been coming here for services for two years.
"In a way, I've come home again, to this congregation, and I need at 80 to feel safe and need to feel like I'm in a place where I can be all that I am and who I am."
Cas Burleson helped start the church's LGBTQ+ grief group after her partner of 25 years died.
She said she didn't feel welcome at the Baptist church she was a part of, but here: "The church helped save my life, I could be who I am in every aspect. And I was able to grow spiritually, which is huge. I was raised Christian. And that's a big part of my life."
Allies play an important role, too
Straight and cisgender allies make up a third of the COLLAGE group.
Deb Hayes' support began as a nurse during the AIDS epidemic that began in the 1980s.
“I got so impressed with the gay community and its support of one another. And so I always advocated for social justice and equality. But I started learning more. And I think I changed at some point to become an ally. And learning what I did and, and reaching out and trying to learn more, and how to be more supportive and inclusive,” Hayes said.
She said the church helped her become a loving grandmother to her transgender grandchild.
Jeanie Mitchell, another ally, had a similar experience.
"It prepared us — wonderfully prepared us — when our, what we thought was a grandson, came to us and said that she is our granddaughter. This church has just opened their arms and hearts to loving her as we do."
Renewing the commitment
Three years ago, as anti-LGBTQ plus bills picked up steam in Florida and across the country, this church's council came together and unanimously voted to "recommit" to God and their support of the LGBTQ+ community.
In that sanctuary, they said, they're making an intentional commitment to serve as a refuge for those who need it most.
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